From
the moment a man finds out his wife is pregnant suddenly he is protecting her
that much more, making sure she doesn’t lift anything too heavy, running out at
10 p.m. to get pistachio ice cream,--- and maybe pickles. He talks to his
wife’s swollen belly, rubbing the baby he can’t yet feel, and certainly already
falling in love.
So
often in the case of miscarriage we focus on the mother and her loss, often
forgetting the father or at least downplaying his grief. In a society that
already views men’s emotions as a sign of weakness, as Christians we ought not
to act this way.
People
mistakenly think that if you bring up a sad subject it will make everyone sad
and cause more pain. The opposite is true, for someone grieving a child the
recognition of their child’s life and existence by family and friends is
incredibly comforting. I promise you they are already thinking about their
loss, they are already sad. Comforting them validates their emotions and allows
them to grieve openly. It can make the difference between a day that they were
just gritting their teeth to get through and a day where they felt the balm of
kind words and the encouragement of fellow saints.
This
Father’s Day if you know a father who has recently lost a child to miscarriage,
give him the blessing of remembering his child. A simple asking, “how are you
doing?” is enough.
“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill
the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2
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