I remember my first Mother’s Day as a young mom with a
tiny infant, my husband bought me a plant for our backyard and took me out to
breakfast. At church they gave me a rose. I felt so proud and so in love
with my little family. I was ready to take on motherhood with everything I had.
Fast-forward eight years and a few kids later. This year, to be honest, I have struggled a lot as a mother. I have been overwhelmed,
tired, exhausted and depleted. It has
seemed hard just to accomplish the basics of running a household. As Mother’s Day has approached I haven’t felt
very worthy of being celebrated, my best idea for a gift is if my family just
leaves me alone for a while. I feel guilty for feeling this way.
For
most of my life Mother’s Day has been complicated holiday for me. My mother
passed away when I was eight years old, each May was just a painful reminder until
my daughter was born eight years ago. I have realized through the years that I
have been far from alone in my hurt on this holiday.
I think about my
grandmother who buried two of her adult children, I think of my mother who knew
she would likely die before her children reached adulthood. I think of stepmothers-- my own included--
that are under appreciated for the great task they have taken on. The many childless Mother’s who have suffered
through miscarriage, and those who passionately desire to be a mother but have
not been able to conceive.
I’m inclined to just want to skip it, pretend it is just
another Sunday. However, I think we must step back and take a moment to remember that
God uses our sorrows and uses our weakness to display His unending sufficiency
in our lives. Matthew 11:28-30 reminds us of the Lord’s help available to us:
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden,
and I will
give you rest. Take my yoke upon you,
and learn
from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart,
and you
will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy,
and my burden is light.”
Yesterday at the grocery store my eight year old tried to
sneakily interrogate me on what my favorite candy is, right now I am pretty
sure she is upstairs making me a card.
These little things I must say make my tired heart swell and I am
reminded of what precious gift motherhood is. These tiny lives that have been
entrusted to me. My son always gives me his first hug in the morning. My
independent five year old always wants me to kiss her goodnight, and my
nine-month old never fails to smile when I walk into the room.
These gifts I know not everyone has received. I know there
are many out there who are hurting this weekend. I encourage you this Mother’s
Day to look to our Father who has given His Son to ransom you. “Cast your
burden on the Lord and he will sustain you” (Psalm 55:22).
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